Many people unknowingly fall into relationship patterns that stem from their conditioning, not from their authentic selves. This often happens unconsciously and you may not even be aware of a lot of your conditioning. Your Human Design chart, however, reveals your natural way of connecting with others and where you might be vulnerable to taking on others' emotions or energy, rather than remaining in alignment with your own energy.

Understanding your conditioned patterns is crucial if you want to stop attracting the wrong partners because what may appear as "attraction" can often be a well-worn groove of conditioned responses—not your authentic desires. Your Human Design chart reveals your conditioning in certain places:

Your Definition and Authority

Your definition pattern in the Centers and Gates of your Human Design chart (i.e., which Centers and Gates are defined/undefined/open) reveals how you naturally exchange energy with partners. For example:

• If you have an undefined Ego Center, you may be drawn to proving your worth to partners or feeling inadequate around strong-willed people.
• With an undefined Emotional Solar Plexus Center, you might amplify the emotions of others, mistaking their feelings for your own or creating drama or intensity.
• An undefined Root Center can create pressure in your body and mind and cause you to rush into relationships or commit before you're ready.

Your Authority (i.e., your inner guidance system) shows how you're designed to make aligned relationship decisions. For example:

• People with Emotional Authority need time to ride their emotional wave before clarity emerges when making decisions
• People with Sacral Authority require checking in with their gut responses in the moment
• People with Self-Projected Authority need to hear themselves speak their truth out loud to arrive at the correct decisions for them

When you understand these aspects of your design, you can catch yourself when you're responding from conditioning rather than from your true self. It can also allow you to witness your patterns without judgment and make conscious choices that align with who you truly are.

With this awareness, you can choose differently, breaking cycles that have kept you attracting the wrong partners.

When you have porous emotional boundaries, you’re more likely to attract the wrong partners for you. If you’re struggling with setting and maintaining boundaries in relationships, this might look like:

• Overgiving in relationships, pouring your energy into "fixing" or "helping" your partners
• Feeling overly responsible for your partner's emotions or happiness
• Accepting only crumbs of affection because you fear being alone
• Struggling to clearly communicate your true needs and desires with your partner

Your Human Design chart can reveal where you most need to strengthen your boundaries through your undefined/open Centers. Each undefined/open Center represents an area where you absorb and amplify energy from others. For example:

If You Have an Undefined/Open Emotional Solar Plexus Center:

If your Emotional Solar Plexus Center is undefined/open, you literally absorb and amplify the emotions of others. This can create intense emotional connections that feel deep but are actually just amplifications of someone else’s energy.

To strengthen boundaries in relationships if you have an undefined/open Emotional Solar Plexus Center:

• Create spaciousness in your relationships—time apart to differentiate your emotions from others
• Ask yourself: "Is this emotion mine or am I amplifying someone else's feelings?"

If You Have an Undefined/Open G Center:

An undefined/open G Center can lead a person to seek their identity and direction through relationships or trying to be what others want. They might shape-shift to please partners rather than knowing and following the guidance of their authentic self.

To strengthen boundaries in relationships if you have an undefined/open G Center:

• Connect with your authentic sense of self away from your relationships
• Notice when you're changing yourself to fit a partner's preferences

If You Have an Undefined/Open Sacral Center:

With an undefined/open Sacral, you may mimic others' energy and enthusiasm, leading to burnout in relationships as you try to match your partner's pace and interests.

To strengthen boundaries in relationships when you have an undefined/open Sacral:

• Honor your need for rest and solitude in relationships
• Be honest about your energy limitations
• Choose partners who respect your rhythms rather than demanding constant engagement

As you strengthen your boundaries in accordance with your undefined/open Centers in your Human Design chart, you naturally become less available to partners who don't value you. The energy you previously spent overgiving or people-pleasing becomes available for nurturing yourself and attracting partners who match who you truly are instead.